The internet on the internet

I woke up this morning and went online, like always. I signed in and saw a face that I dreamed sex with, over and over, that very night. My imagination had remade her in the dream, taken away her away from Farmville. Facebook objectively said "not worth sex, ignore your impulses, she just has this one frozen expression and these few words, not worth it."

Later I lost a friend, I realized only because I 'clicked' on her profile, to see what user generated content she had grown in the night, and was greeted with the closed green 'add friend' door.

I channel my father, I drink and I dissect what's in front of me. I like an honesty that can only happen when you're unattached to your sense of self or your words, wherein it just spills out, so many unattended bastard child ideas to claim partial responsibility for.

I want the institutions and prevailing opinions of my environment to crumble with the same pitiless certainty that any sense of stability or self has for me crumbled. It's not that I want destruction, I just want no man to be able to tell me things are knowable again, and I want everybody else to be as starved for philosophical salvation as I am.

I realize historically people only get this privilege in a society where 80% of people get permanent marginalization, toiling in fields, but I am enrolled in an institution of the remaining 20, and we're all acting a surf.

Or turning eachother off. I lament the death of this friendship, even if all that's died is my sense of detachment and independence from facebook. Now I have to act differently to real life people because of decisions made in that arena, and it makes me feel smaller than a computer.

The "city of wonder" in Rihanna's Disturbia is clearly web 2.0. I will elaborate on this claim in real life, if there is any remaining tendon between that place and this place, such that these ideas and you and I can meet up and discuss while absorbing vitamin D, and not minimizing windows and self selecting a sensory experience of reinforcement and boring.

I love lies too though, don't get me wrong.