Flexipop

I mean, with the two week upload expiration date. I just hope they don't come down on the kids who share the mp3s with the law. Because this is a lot of fun, and I feel like for the middle class kids with broadband at least, the only limit is one's own desire to consume. I hope that doesn't just lead to the kind of personal session from society on my part that I so often j'accuse! America of hiding as a guiding principal.

I need to go to some library and do my math report or whatever bullshit today. I knew Friday not doing it meant investing only in increased anxiety. And here I am, hummingbird heart thinking about how to get out of here and somehow failing to come up with an answer. I have no interest in school and am taking the schedule of an invalid, but somehow I've done that long enough that the end of it is on the horizon. Maybe that belief is as self sabotaging as everything else. Only way out is the math homework.

fixed first link. In that copy and paste that shit.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/4y2ayj
http://www.sendspace.com/file/qmuzhb
http://www.sendspace.com/file/uh5utu
http://www.sendspace.com/file/qtrhj8

J.G. Ballard

I got halfway through High Rise today while sitting in the town square, removing and re-applying my sunglasses like an ostentatious and unsuccessful secret agent, leaving when it got cold. It's great, less thick than I thought it would be after reading The Atrocity Exhibition, but great.

The younger kids all appear a shade or two more hip than they actually are. The arc of stylistic justice is long, but it bends towards hipness. Case in point, last night dark British indie cocktail dress attire girls claimed to love Madonna when Bizzare Love Triangle started playing. I am the old fart at the party, a dance floor Richard Simmons moving myself in easily replicated self esteem boosting bursts of the 1970s that young women with body issues are looking towards. Somewhere upstairs white lines are cut, and the stew of bawdy communication downstairs is thinned. I am unable to get in on that train, and remember my place.

One of the girls had orange hair and a green dress and was named Allison. She made me feel like Elvis Costello, but it didn't work because I made her feel stupid and judged. I am radiant, bounding through infinite faceless baseball cap and jean wearing proletariat, looking at the women like another close study of outfit will give me a better idea if she ever thought about the meaning of being free.

I didn't sleep, resisting a fadeout with the idea of a warm bed and bong would be my reward for soldiering down more cola and cigarettes as the women began to leave the party. Somebody pulled a knife, but from my perch on the white picket fence it just looked like the guy who pulled the steel was fighting off giving adoring fans his autograph. Nobody is stabbed, but the party's epitaph is written when one of the coked out birthday girls laments how this all happened because nobody was listening to her instructions. I just have to leave.

And leave I do. My reality incriminating, I will start my own tribe. I will be king, And we'll drink all the time, I think that's what that song is about.
http://www.sendspace.com/file/62g9vp
http://www.sendspace.com/file/haxsi2
http://www.sendspace.com/file/aqjuaz
http://www.sendspace.com/file/p811ks
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ovqml9
http://www.sendspace.com/file/vnyza7

Weekending Again

http://www.sendspace.com/file/5ntoo8
http://www.sendspace.com/file/35mbal
http://www.sendspace.com/file/m7vlcd
http://www.sendspace.com/file/kv3kba
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ytlvt7
http://www.sendspace.com/file/5gon4t
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ygzgfo
http://www.sendspace.com/file/abfvxu
http://www.sendspace.com/file/6bwzm8
http://www.sendspace.com/file/32o9ww
http://www.sendspace.com/file/poxqmg
http://www.sendspace.com/file/odo9ec

Sucker Free City

http://www.sendspace.com/file/rw0jrj
http://www.sendspace.com/file/txge80
http://www.sendspace.com/file/pbjycf
http://www.sendspace.com/file/hso8zs
http://www.sendspace.com/file/5bumfe
http://www.sendspace.com/file/nielxh

Underground hip hop equals no women.
- Pigeon John

Rockers is an amazing movie

So, I am signing up for an Art History class, doing English in the summer with a different professor in Petaluma, and then hopefully leaving to London 6 days later.

Now my schedule is only two days. Now surely I will be employed.

I have a lot of gray hairs for a dude my age.

I was in Richard Speakes' class on the waiting list for two class periods before he dramatically announced that those so categorized must, and he emphasized saying this next part was the least fun part of this job, immediately and forever go.

Tearjerker, but I took with me his first observation, "Yeah, I've seen that look for a while. That cool like. Y'know, it's always, I'm blacker than you." Gasps, amusement, disbelief. "The 60's? Youth listening to black leaders, that's what that was about."



I really regret not being able to stay in his class. I'm not actually technically enrolled in my English class now, though.. I'm wondering if I can get at least 8 units some other way, to qualify for the BUNAC, and then do it over the summer... With Speakes? Maybe add some courses that would qualify me as an African American studies major. San Francisco state apparently invented the concept.

Either way, please employ me, somebody. Or, somebody please just drink with me in the park like it's post communist Bulgaria. Give it a few years.

Yambol is a really nice town
Whoever doesn't like it is an idiot
Drajeto is trying to make money
The other towns are just playing video games
I don't have anything against video games
But I prefer driving a Mercedes

http://www.sendspace.com/file/k5d0q1

San Francisco's Doomed

This is a matter of SAFETY

SAFETY for ourselves

and

SAFETY for our families

There is no time to waste with further academic debates about social and political issues.


http://www.sendspace.com/file/j3ie5q

http://www.sendspace.com/file/bub5q2


http://www.sendspace.com/file/ze3d41

http://www.sendspace.com/file/bgig2m

http://www.removephprojects.org/

http://www.sfgov.org/site/uploadedfiles/moh/SFHOPEReport.pdf

The kids on the street they'll never give in

I am going to San Francisco today to return something to the library. Protecting women from darkies is civilization, I am willing to kill for a couple of old fashioned style donuts at this very moment. Trans-fats are merely the imperial acquisition of feminine fats by masculine fats. It is only odd because it is compressed into one fat, and therefore too much for the heart to take.

There is a "happening" tonight at a dive bar in Chinatown. Dada beatnik revisionist whiteness I wish I could witness, cliquing doesn't stop at 20. Or thirty. I don't belong either.

Mission Dolores park is the background for a lot of photographs of plaid shirts, oversized sunglasses, futuristic sneakers, and the people who rock them. People walk their dogs, bring their microbrews, and pray to the sun.

Insufferable ideas right now. Small people.

Neighborhood pathological study reveals self identification as Wes Anderson characters, sense of cool and class based entitlement as cause of current terminal status.

These songs aren't quite as fun as the ones from yesterday, but then I'm less familiar with the contemporary sounds of urban America than I am with kitchen sink post punk stuff from ten years before I was born. Go figure.



http://www.sendspace.com/file/vko7op
http://www.sendspace.com/file/648bqi
http://www.sendspace.com/file/caiutz
http://www.sendspace.com/file/vpc5yx
http://www.sendspace.com/file/nnaj1k
http://www.sendspace.com/file/x05lp9

Weekending Again

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1ojpkr
http://www.sendspace.com/file/dx6b65
http://www.sendspace.com/file/owbb0d
http://www.sendspace.com/file/0w8ztg
http://www.sendspace.com/file/k9lt4p
http://www.sendspace.com/file/1aetkr

Closure

I called her at four. Her message machine spoke in the voice of somebody impersonating static where a name should be, and then said leave a message.

I think about everything I did trying to remember moments of self sabotage.

I think it may have been a ruse.

I am convinced she has friends, and the next time I ask a stranger if they'll hang out with me, they'll place me into their friend's story.

Oh, you were the guy who left the message on her phone.

Yes mam, but I am no longer that guy.

My new name is Anxious Instability. I am here to scare you.

Actionable intellegence

Womens history month opening ceremony.

Highlights include the hip hop dance class shaking it to the ground with Amerie, and every time the word vagina was mentioned.

I thought a taller girl in a pink top with art supplies was staring at me, so I told her how it was going to go down.

She said she got off at four, and I'm going to call her.

Dare, double dare.


http://www.sendspace.com/file/avtj11

http://www.sendspace.com/file/9ffjs7

http://www.sendspace.com/file/duzs6j

I'm in heaven
I'll show you heaven
So much heaven

http://www.sendspace.com/file/xtaxr8

Solitary Orgasm

Where are you?

I'm here.

Where are you?

I'm here.

Where are you?

I'm here.


http://www.sendspace.com/file/05lnvo

Martin Luther King Jr. had planned to visit Richmond just prior to his assassination

http://www.sendspace.com/file/pb8cs7

http://www.sendspace.com/file/9zpvb1

http://www.sendspace.com/file/g1dsl7

http://www.sendspace.com/file/mum6tk

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1ekvfw

Feeling really lonely the past couple of days. Renewed efforts to drop coffee. Thinking it's about time I drop denim and start dressing in slacks and buttoned shirts, like a man dude.

Free your mind and your ass will follow, I am interested in crotches. Very interested. Girls stare me down and dig it, and my eyes return the favor so much it's rude, but that's as far as it goes, the sexual revolution having had it's leaders round up and shot by AIDS sometime around 1982.

The last time I was so defiant was a Tuesday, and we had met online. I drove to San Francisco and didn't know how to act naturally until the bottle was gone. Sleepiness and shame made it surreal and sublime. Sobriety came too soon, and I drove back home before sunrise, feeling like I knew something the commuters didn't.

Offline, the world is less accessible. I am not driving so much as looking at the honeys through the windshields. I don't go to school so much as wander around campus looking for the peaches. Conversation isn't the end goal so much as fantasy. Fiction romantics seem to gush at the idea that their fantastic fulfillment of it all is just one "Excuse me sir" away from them. Snatches and dick smell dripping from the ceiling, I sometimes find it hard to breath.

I should just start asking people if they like to fuck. Maybe even hang posters around the school saying "FUCKINZ OKAY, A'IGHT?" Number and picture underneath, of course, as I am true to my word.

If you have a significant other, make out in public. If you don't, do so with strangers. Youth and love need to reclaim public space, if those ideas are to take hold.


http://www.ktvu.com/news/10156809/detail.html

http://www.mercurynews.com/crime/ci_8404856

http://www.topix.com/city/richmond-ca/2007/11/eight-shot-in-north-richmond

Countrypolitan

http://www.sendspace.com/file/km2219

http://www.sendspace.com/file/wlg6dx

Carquinez Heights

I didn't really move much on Saturday. My mind felt guilty of assholism and my joints weren't doing anything for me. My mom called every half hour, starting around ten, often with messages, about eating or something tomorrow, and just to check in. Each time she called I let it ring and we both got irascible in our convictions.

But today I went to Vallejo. It's gorgeous during the day now and suddenly I'm burning gasoline like my children aren't going to call me an irresponsible fuck for the self satisfaction I get from doing it. I'm being tailgated by somebody applying makeup to their cadaverously wealthy selves and I don't mind. It's fucking gorgeous.

Poverty is pretty easy to find in America. The edge of a new city is built to be read at 85 miles an hour. A connect four slot filled with brand iconography promise familiar consumption and brand name comfort. From the west at least, Vallejo reads differently. Vallejo is one of those places that used to make shit, build shit. The sleeping dragon that woke up after Pearl Harbor was once again sound asleep on the shores of the San Pablo Bay, a rusty petrification settled over it's once powerful body.



Poverty is only allowed so long as we allow ourselves to fall victim to a historical narrative in which it is justified.

Everything anyone in this country has had they have had because history has given it to them.

Prior exclusion from the pie, from the table, from success, is no justification for future exclusion.



Poverty is sustained by affluence; the rich have defined themselves as entirely antithetical to the poor and require that elevation to themselves maintain power.

It is for the sake of the construction of a narrative in which there is some worth assigned to wealth.

Wealth is granted to you by prenatal historical circumstance. It has no worth.

You're wrong if you think otherwise.

The Japanese are a homogeneous people. At some point 200 years ago, a certain village was shamed because their village burnt down or some shit, and they became an underclass. No genetic distinction exists, it's just history. They consistantly score lower on test scores, and are of a lower standing economically than their Japanese peers.

The rich require the poor because the poor construct the proof for their entire belief system. The rich strive to separate themselves from the poor in every aspect of their lives and in the physical construction of our society and have for generations.

Whole Foods is for motherfuckers.

And your daughters won't put out.




Poverty is easy to find in America because we have it caged. It is as easy as looking to the intersections of major infrastructure: highways, rails, refineries, power stations, airports, docks, factories- anywhere where society is pushing the costs of it's actions into the earth for free, the poor will absorb them because our system requires an underclass.

I drove around Vallejo spewing gas and staring wide eyed at a Sunday morning, and that's as close as I can get to my brothers.

And we're just getting more estranged.

Rich people are crazy and destroying the planet with their secessionist bullshit. Find your brothers and sisters and learn about our family. Grow your own food and learn valuable skills. Most importantly, place yourself in history (not his story) and take that shit to heart.

Lonesome Countrypolitan