Expatriation is the answer

In my most wildly enthusiastic dreams I have always been a soldier. When outdoors, this means an overgrown boyscout with a rifle and a Red Dawn style invading army, or an exploratory mission, like that unwillingly presented to the Japanese pilot who survived being shot down over the island of Kimono only to face unknown dragons. I feel the pride of some older order and step with the force of a missionary, I am the monotheistic tradition, the susceptibility to demagoguery and fascism, and the inflated ego of the human instinct. I am stepping without regard for the tapeworms and slug life, to do the work of the angels.

I don't worry that these feelings are so appealing, that my nature, while tame and middle class, is necessarily also one of violence and hierarchy. I do worry that I'm not going to get a job in the immediate future that is both easy and clean. I want this, because I want to save money (3K) to go to the UK with a permit to work for six months. Ideally, I will be able to find a place up Mile End, and I can put off being in four year school for yet another slippery amount of months. This idea is exciting to me. But maybe I need more shame and discipline and less excitement. I'm starting to watch The Up Series. It doesn't pay well.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/v2p23v

http://www.sendspace.com/file/9fspcd

http://www.sendspace.com/file/rb5edy

http://www.sendspace.com/file/ekxvdh